“Saturday Night Live” crucified President Donald Trump over his ongoing tariff crusade during this week’s cold open.
A parody of Christ driving moneylenders from the temple of Jerusalem came to a screeching halt when James Austin Johnson’s Trump burst in and smugly asked, “Remind you of anyone?”
“I also got rid of money last week, but instead of one temple, I did a whole country. Maybe even the globe,” he bragged. “The money’s gone.”
Praising himself, Johnson’s Trump dupe told audiences, “Hi, it’s me, your favorite president, Donald Jesus Trump, comparing myself to the son of God once again. Many people are even calling me the Messiah for the mess I made out of the economy. All because of my beautiful tariffs.”
All hell broke loose when Trump announced his unprecedented import tax agenda at the start of this month, prompting stock markets across the globe to go into free fall.
But after a week of economic bedlam, the commander in chief abruptly paused most country-specific tariffs for 90 days while keeping a blanket 10% tax in place. Smiting China, however, he hiked an already steep 54% duty on Beijing to a staggering 145%.
“They were working so well that I had to stop them,” Johnson’s Trump winked. “I said, let me cook, and then I burned dinner badly so we had to stop.”
Christening himself some sort of economic savior, he declared, “Now, everything is back exactly how it was, minus a few trillion dollars and a historic transfer of wealth from the middle class to my buddies.”
“It’s true. The stock market did a Jesus,” Johnson said. “It died, then on the third day, it was risen. And then on the fourth day, it died again. Possibly, never to return, just like Jesus.”
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While Trump’s tariff pause did allow seesawing Wall Street numbers to rally last week, experts still warn that the ripple effects of any global trade turmoil could still push the U.S. economy into a recession.
Watch the full sketch here:
