“South Park” may be singlehandedly trying to undermine its corporate parent’s attempt to complete a massive merger with a wild season premiere that gives President Donald Trump a “teeny tiny” penis.
The premiere had been on hold while “South Park” creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone negotiated a new five-year deal with Paramount worth a reported $1.5 billion.
But they didn’t waste time going after Paramount and the $16 million the company agreed to pay Trump to settle a lawsuit over “60 Minutes” that most legal observers considered frivolous.
Critics believe the settlement was to help ensure the deal passes federal regulatory hurdles ― including “Late Show” host Stephen Colbert, who called the deal a “big fat bribe” and was canceled days later.
In the new episode, Trump ― who frequently tears off his clothes and gets into bed with Satan ― sues South Park for $5 billion after its residents criticize him.
Jesus, who is a recurring character on the show, turns up and warns the town not to mess with the president.
“Do you really want to end up like Colbert?” he says. “If someone has the power of the presidency and also has the power to sue and take bribes, then he can do anything to anyone.”
Jesus warns the citizens to “shut the fuck up or South Park is over.”
The city cuts funding for schools, hospitals and roads to pay Trump a $3.5 million settlement.
But that’s not all.
Trump ― real-world Trump ― has claimed that Paramount’s new owners will give him $20 million in PSAs, ads, and similar programming as part of the settlement, a claim Paramount has denied. In the cartoon world, Trump gets a similar deal ― and the city of South Park is forced to produce a series of PSAs for him.
The one they make ― ostensibly the first of 50 such PSAs ― isn’t a cartoon. It’s a very real-looking Trump, possibly an AI-generated creation, walking through a desert and tearing off his clothing as he goes.
“No matter how hot it gets, he’s not afraid to fight for America,” the narrator says. “With conviction, discipline, and trust in God, he survived the desert.”
Once his clothing is removed, a tiny penis with googly eyes appears from the president’s crotch and says: “I’m Donald J. Trump and I endorse this message.”
The narrator gets the last word.
“Trump,” he says. “His penis is teeny tiny, but his love for us is large.”
The video is done in the style of the “He Gets Us” ads for Christianity, and ends with “He Trumped Us,” complete with a HeTrumpedUs.com website.
Check out the mock PSA here, or watch the full episode on Paramount+.
